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Summary

In this conversation, James Eaves shares insights from his interview with a recovering addict named Johnny, exploring the feelings of shame and judgment that individuals battling addiction often face. He emphasizes the need for compassion, understanding, and a change in perspective towards addiction, advocating for a supportive community that approaches individuals with love and gentleness. Eaves introduces the ABS method (Approach, Build, Support) as a framework for engaging with those struggling with addiction, highlighting the importance of speaking the truth in love and creating a welcoming environment within congregations. He concludes by stressing the significance of celebrating small victories in the recovery journey and connecting individuals with appropriate resources.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Evangelism and Addiction
00:04 Understanding the Struggles of Addiction
06:14 Changing Perspectives on Addiction
12:07 Approaching Those in Need
24:23 Building Relationships and Support
28:26 Creating a Welcoming Community
32:25 Conclusion and Resources

Transcript *This transcript was automatically generated and may contain errors.*

James Eaves (00:00)
Good afternoon.

While preparing for this lesson, I interviewed a gentleman that was recovering from an addiction to meth. He and I spent a couple hours together just talking about what he was facing in his life and all that he had to go through. asked John, we’ll call him Johnny because ethically I can’t tell you what his name is.

But I asked Johnny, I said, Johnny, how did you find yourself inside of a church building? He said that he had heard from family and friends and around town that the big church in town had a group for those who were recovering from addictions and that they had this whole recovery program.

that interested him in a time in his life when he needed something. I said, I continued to ask him questions about how he found himself on his road to recovery and how he was attempting to get closer to Jesus. He said, well, James, I knew I needed God. But the first day that I was there, he said, I’m sitting in the pew and

I almost got up and left. I almost got up and I felt so much shame in that moment that I almost got up and left. And looking around me, just knew, I just knew everyone around me was judging.

that no one there thought I belonged there.

I wasn’t good enough.

I didn’t deserve to be there. Among all of these people without problems with addictions, all of these people who were faithfully serving God in His mind, He couldn’t compare. I say these things to you now so that you can understand how they feel when they do

muster up enough courage to come through the doors of our building and sit down. Or even when they are walking down the street and we see them and they see people who aren’t quite like them, they’re not ready to talk to you.

But now I want you to think about the last experience that you had with someone that was obviously battling an addiction.

How did you feel?

What did you feel? Did you feel revulsion?

Did you feel disgusted? Maybe it was fear. Or maybe even its superiority because they’re struggling with that and I’m not. can’t believe that anybody would succumb to something like

What did those feelings lead you to do? Did those feelings of revulsion and disgust and superiority, did those feelings, and I don’t want anyone here, I’m not asking you to come and tell me, but you see those people walking down the street and where are your eyes? Are you trying to make eye contact with them so that you can go over and talk to them? No.

You’re trying not to make eye contact with them because you’re afraid they’re going to come over and talk to you. And I speak from experience.

So what do those feelings that we’re experiencing cause us to do? Do they cause us to go out and try to start up a relationship with them so that we can teach them about Jesus because we know Jesus is what they need?

Yes, now we’ll.

You know, somebody else in the Bible had similar feelings. His name was Jonah, right? What did Jonah’s feelings of revulsion and disgust and even hatred cause him to do? It caused him to run. Sometimes we run.

We hide. Why do we run it? Maybe not because we hate them, right? Probably not. But because we feel inadequate. We’re afraid. We don’t know, how do I deal with this person? What do I say? I mean, this is going to be uncomfortable.

We don’t know what to do.

We walked by on the other side. You know there was another story in the Bible where somebody walked by on the other side, wasn’t it?

the and the Levite, but not the Good Samaritan. And we like to think of ourselves as the Good Samaritan, don’t we?

The church is doing a pretty decent job, I think, in the area of evangelism. But brethren, in the area of evangelizing the addicted, we are utterly failing.

My friend Johnny, he’s not a member of the church because it wasn’t the church that reached out and found him. It was some big mega church in town.

We’ve got to figure out this because what’s our purpose? Our purpose is eternal. Our purpose is simple. It is snatching people out of the fire.

doing it were these people. We have to change the way we think about these people because we’re never going to change the way we feel about them until we change the way we think about them. They are souls that need to be saved. When we think about them the way that Jesus thought about them then we will feel differently towards them. And when we feel differently towards them what’s going to happen? We’re going to act differently towards them. Change the way you think, that will change the way you feel.

it will change the way you act. Alright, our goal. Snatching these souls out of the fire. Scripture teaches us that addiction is not just ⁓ a physical attack. It reaches into the soul. Peter warns in 1 Peter chapter 2 verse 11 that he warns the brethren there, those sojourners, exiles to abstain from what?

Passions of the flesh. What are those passions of the flesh doing? They are warring against the soul. It’s a war against their souls.

Addiction is sin. ⁓ Wouldn’t you describe it as a passion of the flesh? Absolutely. Did you know that in the United States over 48 million people

are suffering or battling or struggling with substance abuse of some kind. 48 million, that doesn’t even count gambling, pornography, other addictive behaviors, just substance abuse. 48 million, did you also know that that’s double the population of Florida? Double.

This is serious problem and it’s an opportunity. The door is right there in front of the church. We pray for opportunities all the time. I don’t know how often I hear that. We’re praying for doors of opportunity. They’re right in front of us. How are we gonna open them?

hope we can discover that in the Scriptures today. The Scriptures also talk about how they show us how this is not just an attack on the soul, but it shows us the struggle that’s taking place within the heart. It’s much like what Paul describes in Romans chapter 7, before Christ, He wants to do what’s right, but He doesn’t have the flesh is just weak.

And that is precisely the way someone in an addiction would describe it. Turn with me to Psalm 55. Psalm 55, David is describing his enemies and the anguish that he is going through because of his enemies, and he just wants to get away. He wants to escape. Does that sound familiar? I hope you understand. We look at people…

that are addicted to drugs and alcohol and a lot of times we don’t see someone who is a slave. That’s precisely what they are. A slave to those substances, to that addiction. We see someone who wants to have a good time. We see someone who’s living it up, they’re just living for that joy. No, they’re trying to cover up pain. They’re trying to escape.

David says in Psalm 55 verse four, my heart is in anguish within me. The terror of death has fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me and horror overwhelms me. And I say, ⁓ that I had wings like a dove. I would fly away and be at rest. Yes, I would wander away.

I would lodge in the wilderness. I would hurry to find shelter from the raging wind and the tempest.

to suggest to you today, these individuals suffering and battling addiction.

It’s not all about the party. For a lot of them, they just want to escape.

But understanding this problem and what’s happening, that battle within the soul, that struggle within the heart, that’s not enough. Understanding the problem’s not enough. We need to know what to do about it. And to remember the lesson today, you just need to remember ABS, Anti-Lock Brake System. ABS, Approach, Build, and Support. Approach, how am I?

going to come to them, build, how am I going to speak to them, and support, how am I going to walk with them.

Let’s start with that approach. How do I come to them? The scriptures are pretty clear. Let’s not forget, what’s our number one goal, church? Go to heaven, right? And number two is to bring as many people with me as I can. And that includes people who are struggling with addiction. Now I’m thinking about, well, one of the most important words in all the Bible, what is it? It’s eternity, right? Because everything pivots on eternity.

Where am I gonna spend it? And whenever I look at these souls, I need to see a soul that is approaching eternity. And so the scripture teaches me how to come to them. What is it? Galatians chapter six, verse one, Paul speaking to the church there. He’s telling the brethren, if anyone is caught in a transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in the spirit of gentleness, keeping watch on yourselves, lest you also be tempted. In that scenario, we have…

members of the church looking at other members of the church and they’re seeing someone who is struggling in a transgression and what are they instructed to do? They’re instructed to go to them gently.

gently because Christians are supposed to be gentle.

And you say, well, how does this apply to someone who is not a Christian? I want them to be a Christian. Shouldn’t I treat them like I want them to be? Like a Christian. This is about restoration and salvation in this scenario, not accusation. I need to be gentle. You know, as we look at Matthew chapter 12, as Matthew records about Jesus there, he quotes from Isaiah,

And he says there, a bruised reed, verse 20, a bruised reed, Matthew 12 20, a bruised reed, he will not break, a smoldering wick, he will not quench. A bruised reed. That’s precisely how you might describe someone battling addiction. They feel like they’re about to break. One more accusation and maybe they will. A smoldering wick.

that wick of that candle, the flame has already been blown out, but you can see it’s still smoking a little bit. There’s a little bit of a red ash there and it’s about to go out. How would Jesus treat it? He wouldn’t put it out. How are we going to deal with them? Many who are struggling feel just like this and the scripture calls us to be gentle with them.

The scriptures also call us to be compassionate. know, throughout Jesus’ ministry, that’s one thing that I always go to when I’m thinking about these things, how we view others. That’s a big component of counseling, is just helping others to see through the eyes of someone else. Right? Put on their glasses. Or we sometimes will say, walk a mile in his shoes. Well, whenever Jesus looked at a…

a crowd of hungry people. He didn’t see a burden. What did he see? He saw lost souls. And he had compassion on them. That’s what we need. We need compassion for these individuals. Colossians chapter 3 verse 12, Paul says, put on then, he speaks to the brethren, put on then as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts.

Kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Compassion, kindness, humility, patience. What do people battling addiction expect from those around them? What did my friend Johnny expect as he sat in the pew? Judgment.

He expected everyone around to judge him. He didn’t expect someone to come and sit down next to him, which is exactly what happened, by the way. Start talking to him. Want a relationship with him.

People and addictions, that’s what they expect. Judgment. Let’s not give them what they expect. Let’s give them what they need. Compassion helps us to see their soul instead of only the behavior. It’s hard, I know, it’s hard. Because we look with our eyes and not with our hearts.

And Scripture calls us to do this. Scripture also, the Word of God calls us, Jesus Himself calls on us in Matthew chapter 7 to approach these individuals, well individuals in sin in general, but especially those here in the context of our lesson, those battling with addiction without hypocrisy.

Why are we repulsed? No, no, no. Why are we more repulsed by their sin than our own?

Matthew chapter 7 verse 3 Jesus said, do you see the speck that’s in your brother’s eye, but you do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Jesus isn’t telling us not to make judgments. He’s not telling us to ignore correction. No, He’s telling us to correct with humility. And you know whenever I understand the struggles in my own life, I can relate better with someone who

someone else who is struggling. I’m not ignoring the sins and the experiences that I’ve gone through in my life and pretending like I’m better. No, I’m showing them a better way. Sometimes the sins that repel us the most are those, the very sins that Jesus warns us to examine in our own lives. Honest self-awareness is going to help us to be better counselors.

better helpers, better soul winners. People listen when they feel respected. One of the techniques that I like to use, especially when working with couples or with families, is something called a wish list. And it just employs active listening. And I’ll have ⁓ the husband make a wish list, it’ll have three things on it. And the wife make a wish list, it’ll have three things on it. And what they’re expected to do is come up with

three things that they want more or less of in this relationship and how it would make them feel. And then the husband will say to his wife, well, I would like more date nights during the month and that would make me feel more connected to you. And the wife then is supposed to turn and say, well, you want more date nights. She’s supposed to repeat what he said.

not defend herself. We just went on a date yesterday. Because if she does that, what has she immediately done? She’s denied how he’s feeling.

She’s denied what he thinks and what he’s going through. Brethren, we need to sit and we need to listen and be able to respond to these individuals and hear them so they feel respected and they don’t feel judged. And because someone who feels judged, what do they immediately do? They just shut down. They’re not listening anymore. The Bible teaches us also to be patient.

with these individuals. So in James 1, verse 19, this is another passage I use sometimes whenever I’m doing some Christian counseling, I love to get to do, don’t always get to do. Sometimes individuals will let me bring the Bible into the sessions with me. And this is one of those we use with anger a lot, right?

James chapter 1 verse 19, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. So we go there and say, yes, you hear the scriptures teach us to be slow to wrath. We really need to be. But if we were going to sum up this verse, what word would we use? Patience, right? Patience. That’s what these individuals, and what will patience do? If I’m patiently listening to you,

I’m building trust. I’m building trust. Trust is paramount. Because if that person doesn’t trust me, they’re not going to hear. And we know this principle with everyone else. And we employ it with everyone else. But it’s almost like, James, they’re just too far gone. And we’ve given up on

And yes, drugs destroy the mind. And in some cases, it’s going to be extremely difficult talking, reasoning with that individual. But we just do the best we can. The Gospel will do the rest. It is God’s power to save. Not me, not you, the Gospel. We need to be patient with them.

And this is one of the greatest gifts that we can offer them, patience and listening. I mean, was God patient with you? He was patient with you. A family once found this, after a storm, they found this little puppy underneath their porch and they thought, ⁓ look how cute it is. It looks like it might be hurt. And they’re trying to reach under the porch and get the puppy to come out.

And it just is growling at them and backing away and even showing its teeth and snapping at them sometimes. And they’re just trying to reach under there to pull it out and they can’t get it out. And the grandpa just backs everybody up. And he sits down on the steps next to the porch. And he just starts talking to the puppy softly and calmly.

And eventually, after some time, the dog slowly inches its way forward. It didn’t move toward force, right? It moved toward gentleness. Gentleness made it feel like it was safe, like it could approach this person. This person’s not going to hurt me. Many people in addictions feel the same way. They pull back out of fear of being

being being rejected, being fill in the blank. They’re afraid. The gentleness helps them draw near. And before we speak to someone who is struggling, battling with addiction, we need to check our own hearts. Matthew 7, we approach, why am I approaching this person? Actually, I should probably be asking, why am I not approaching this person?

Why am I approaching?

to snatch the soul out of the fire, Jude 23. Because I’ve been given a great commission to seek to save the lost just like my savior did. And that’s the goal, to save a soul. It’s not to win an argument. It’s not to shame someone into doing better. Well, James, they got themselves into that situation. Well, you know what? You got yourself into a sinful situation too. And who got you out of

The Lord did. Does He not have the power to get them out of it? Certainly He does. It’s about saving that soul and when we approach people the right way, we earn the opportunity to share that hope that is in the gospel with them. So that’s our approach. That’s A, right? How do we come to them? B is build. ⁓ How do I speak to them?

This has been addressed because it can be a problem sometimes. I see it even in our own congregation sometimes where, well, James, I told them the truth. It shouldn’t matter how I say it. Or some won’t even say that much. They’ll agree that tact matters and that how we speak matters, but then won’t go through with it. We need to take time to…

prepare ourselves on how to speak. need to speak what? Ephesians 4.15, the truth in love. The truth in love. In love of that person, but also in love of the truth, right? So I’m not saying we hold back the truth, but it matters how I present it. Because the truth without love feels hollow. It feels empty. It feels harsh. 1 Corinthians 13, one and two and three, right? It’s for naught.

We must also, we need to season our speech, right? With grace. Our speech should be gracious. You know, ⁓ I won’t have such a hard time with this when I’m thinking about eternity and the value of that soul. It’s not about me winning this argument. It’s about me talking to this person. Colossians chapter four, verse six.

Paul said, let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Some folks just bland. Or sour, right?

We need words that are seasoned with grace. It makes the truth easier to receive. Harsh words make it harder. I have to pause just for a second to say I’m a Cajun. I’m from South Louisiana. I’ve been to lot of places and I am very hesitant, five minutes, to eat Cajun food anywhere.

And I had some yesterday here and it was good. So seasoning it’s good here. Okay. Moving on. ⁓ We need to take every opportunity to answer questions that they may present. Right. Peter said we needed to be ready always to give an answer. Right. Of the hope that is in us. Where’s that hope found? It’s found in Christ and in the gospel in the power of God.

to save men, not in me. I’m not trying to win souls to James. I’m trying to win souls to Christ. I need to remember that. A Christian once was studying with a man and this man was struggling with alcoholism and some days he came sober, some days he came hungover and full of shame.

But the Christian didn’t give up on him.

And he just kept working with him. Showing up, being consistent, studying his Bible with him. He didn’t scold him for the setbacks. He just gently brought him back to the Scriptures. And months later this man said, I listened to you because you never gave up on me. I was able to make it through to the other side because you were consistent. Consistency allows the Gospel.

to work and trust creates those doorways. Let’s go to our third point. Third point is support, So we’ve looked at how to come to them, how to speak to them, but now how do I walk with them? And brethren, this is where it goes from individual thinking to a congregational thinking because our congregations have to become places where people who are hurting feel like they’re well.

Luke chapter 15 has been addressed over and over and over again in this lectureship. in this chapter, who came to Jesus? The tax collectors and the sinners. Did the tax collectors and the sinners go to anybody else? No, why? Because the Jews saw the tax collectors as traitors and the sinners.

Not much better.

But they felt safe coming to Jesus because they knew He cared about them. Do people know that our congregations care? Romans chapter 15 verse 17, Paul said, therefore we welcome one another as Christ also has welcomed you for the glory of God. I want to be able to welcome these people into the body of Christ. They need to feel that welcome. And we must

become congregations that are willing to burdens. We’re told, right, Galatians 6-2, to bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. We’re not Christians, James. But I want them to be.

want them to be and I want them to know that I’m willing to bear their burden now and after.

We must become congregations that stir up love and good works. This is important because we’re stirring up our brethren to love and good works. We want these people to become our brethren. They need to know the church needs them, that somebody needs them, that they have a place that they can belong. A lot of them don’t have any family anymore because they burned all the bridges. They need a new family.

The body of Christ can be that family. a congregation must do, this is where we’ll end. We must number one, greet warmly. Greet warmly, a handshake, a smile, not avoiding eye contact. Purposely, intentionally speaking to them with kindness and love. Number two, build relationships. Invite them to dinner. Invite them, I dare say, into…

Our homes, you say, James, there’s consequences with that. That could be dangerous. Do you suppose Jesus knew that there’d be consequences in having and sitting down to eat with traders? Sure, He knew. We need to provide spiritual structure, consistency in Bible studies with them and prayer constantly reaching out to them, which brings us to the final point, accountability.

because we’re not providing a place for them where they can forget about the sin that they’re continuing to be in.

We’re not trying to make them comfortable in their sin. We’re not trying to enable them or fuel their choices. We’re trying to give them support and strength. And we need to continue to speak the truth to them. I said final, but you know how that goes. This is the final one. Celebrate. Small.

wins.

celebrate with them. Celebrate the growth, even the smallest of things with them so they know that somebody’s paying attention and cares if heaven rejoices over one soul repenting. Shouldn’t we? Shouldn’t we? Our congregations need to be these places where they know they can feel safe and our congregations need to shine this light in the community.

I want to finish by just saying, helping also means connecting people with ⁓ appropriate resources when the need goes beyond what a congregation can provide. And as a licensed counselor, I’m willing to assist you in finding those resources so if I can help in any way.

please feel free to contact me. We need to be congregations where people can feel like they can belong to something. Let’s not forget about these individuals. Thank you.